Headlines you won’t read today

• Republicans win fight to block CFPB head Cordray confirmation
• In wake of Zimmerman trial, prosecuting attorneys hospitalized for overexertion
• Colorado secession movement praised for intellectual, emotional maturity
• GOP senate primary in Wyoming to be calm, uneventful
• Middle child gets all the attention
• NSA to hold open house, bake sale Saturday
• Cleanup crews evacuate area and surround waterways with boom to contain wind spill
• Speaker Boehner introduces federal jobs bill
• Man opens bag of Cracker Jack, finds peanuts evenly spread throughout
• William and Kate welcome twins Yerp and Derp
• Gay rights movement grinds to a halt as ex-gay rally draws thousands
• Coat hanger industry weighs in on abortion fight
• Sequester inconveniences congressman
• Rich Lowry makes a good point
• More Democrats than Republicans booked on Sunday morning shows
• Cows admit role in global warming, form climate task force
• Snowden praises Moscow airport food




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