The Chosen Frozen

Screenshot of my blog, The Chosen Frozen

As you may or may not know, I am a blogger for The Jerusalem Post, which is the major daily English-language newspaper in Israel. My blog, The Chosen Frozen, appears on their website, JPost.com. I blog about Judaism, life as a convert, politics, diaspora issues and events, and much more. Check it out at http://www.jpost.com/Blogger/Ryan-Fagan

My take on the ‘Religious Freedom’ law in Indiana

I’m gonna use a bakery owner as an example:

Refusing to bake a damn cake for someone due to their sexual orientation is stupid… Aren’t you a businessperson? Don’t you want to make a damn profit?  You don’t agree with homosexuality?  Well, that is your own thought and you are entitled to it, but keep it to yourself.  You’re a twice divorced baker? If that is the case, on the same accord you should be refusing service to yourself… What do you think about that? Bake the damn cake… It doesn’t affect you in any negative way. You may be a bigot, but you’re making money.

Review: Gentleman’s Box

A new start-up company out of Detroit has launched something called the Gentleman’s Box.  Gentleman’s Box is a premier subscription box that for $25 per month sends you a uniquely themed box full of products for guys.  Each box contains 4-5 hand-selected items along with the latest issue of GQ magazine. 

I was intrigued so I signed up to receive the first ever box, which arrived today. 

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Gentleman's Box logo on top of box

I opened the box and was presented with instructions on how to “Unbox like a true gentleman.”

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Inside was a card with the month and theme on it and a breakdown of the items and retail prices of the items

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This first ever box contained the November issue of GQ, USB cufflinks (yes… Cufflinks with USB drives), stitched socks, facial cleanser, and a plaid skinny tie.  Total retail cost of this box’s items: $78.  Cost of box: $25. A good deal, right?

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I spent some time Googling the various items to try and see if the listed retail prices are legit, since only the GQ has a price listed on it.  For the most part, it seems like its not just a marketing ploy.  The tie lists for 26ish on various websites, the Billy Jealousy face cleanser checks out at $6 for a 2 oz bottle.  The socks are around $12.  The only thing I can’t find a price anywhere when Google searching for is the USB cufflinks.  The brand is unknown and I highly doubt they are the $100 pairs I see on Amazon.

Anyway, I am glad I tried out this service.  Its not bad for $25 per month.  I may occasionally subscribe to get some new guy things.  As for now, I cancelled.  I am taking a wait and see approach to see if the item quality improves or declines as the service takes off.

Scott Walker Might Be “Called” to Run for President

My take on this… And Scott Walker in general:

Scott Walker doesn’t have a chance in hell of even a serious run for the Presidency. His purpose is to be the new Newt Gingrich—constantly running for office/the Presidency—but simply fundraising for himself/living off donations— and the Right wing causes he espouses. Basically, he’ll live off of donations for the rest of his life—That’s Walker’s goal.

Walker is a classic Grifter/a complete Fraud.

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How to be a Cookie Cutter Conservative:

First and foremost you must have an unrealistic view of growing up American – In the conservative world you are automatically born into a loving family with zero moral or financial issues.  You live in a nice house with both parents present until you go off to college without worrying how to pay for it and move immediately into the job you deserve or better yet create your very successful small business.

Along the way there are certain things you absolutely have to be in favor of:

God – God must be the deciding factor in all things.  God has put you on a pre-determined path, and the choices you make are all a part of His plan.  Don’t worry, there is inevitably a passage in the bible somewhere that will support your actions and guide you through your next concern.

Guns – If you aren’t in favor of all things gun related you are un-American.  You will support the right of people to carry assault rifles through Home Depot and carry shotguns to the playground, all for the purpose of keeping people safe.  You oppose any kind of gun safety legislation because 14 people were killed in Chicago in a single weekend in a gun free zone.

The Constitution – Even though you’ve probably never read it, you have to support it.  You absolutely must be shocked and outraged every time a story comes across your newsfeed claiming President Obama has once again usurped this magnificent document you don’t understand by issuing an Executive Order that doesn’t apply to you.

Once you have those things covered you are well on your way to being conservative.  Next you must conform to a list of things you are against:

Freedom of Religion – This very important first item may at first seem confusing, because as a lover of the Constitution you are already in favor of Christianity, since it was written by people filled with the spirit of the Lord.  You are all for school prayer and “under God.”  You don’t need to be in favor of freedom of Christianity since our country is a Christian one by law.  You are opposed to freedom of all other religions or lack thereof.

Government assistance – Having grown up in the perfect home and moved into the perfect job you are fundamentally opposed to people who require any form of public assistance.  Those people are lazy and in need of an education.  If you’re one of the millions of conservatives who lives in a poverty-stricken red state and collects benefits you are still opposed to the poor people of the inner cities getting benefits because they are all committing fraud and eating steak with the taxes you don’t pay.

Women’s rights – You oppose abortion because all life is sacred unless you’re a Muslim or on death row.  You oppose fair pay for womenfolk because they spend less time building their “human capital,” a term you don’t feel the need to truly comprehend.  Women who dress provocatively are asking to get raped.

Illegal immigrants – All people with brown skin are illegal immigrants.  It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been here, whether or not they’ve obtained legal residency or become US citizens or were born on American soil, they should all go home.  They are taking all of the jobs and sucking up taxpayer money via welfare and food stamps.  You believe a 30 foot electrified fence should be built from one end of our southern border to the other.  Because it’s our only border.

Corporate taxation – You oppose the taxation of corporations…for some reason.  You have bought the “job creator” line that has led to the largest gap in wealth inequality in our history, and you support corporate personhood.  It matters not that these companies are essentially being paid to send factories overseas and hide their profits offshore because the Mexicans are taking all the jobs and the poor are taking all the money.

The environment – The EPA is nothing but a sham.  Global climate change is a hoax.  It’s important for big energy companies to continue fracking away the future of our planet because people need jobs.  Clean energy won’t get your ’72 Ford pickup from point A to point B any faster, therefore it’s unnecessary.

Gays and gay marriage – In case you don’t have enough things to hate you can always add this tiny demographic to the list. Gay people will teach children to be gay.  Gay marriage will destroy the foundation of our country because, well, it just will. These people must be stopped before pedophilia and bestiality run rampant in America. Also… AIDS.

There are of course many other factors that will assist in qualifying you as a modern conservative. You should be white and vocal about loving being white while at the same time blaming minorities for racism.  You should be male or subservient to one.  You should believe that all of your views are backed by facts because you read them on the internet or heard it on FOX News.

If you put it in perspective you’re basically a bigoted white male, ammosexual-regressive who wants to see our country revert to 1863 with no understanding of our founding fathers or of our laws.  That won’t matter to you, though, because that distinction was given to you by a lazy liberal whose only interest in life is wrapping their government assisted arms around useless trees.

Your parents will be so proud.