Bachmann Mulling Another Sideshow, er, Prez Campaign Run in 2016

It’s the campaign nobody is asking for, but we might get it anyway!!

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Michele Bachmann was barely able to hold onto her solidly Republican exurban district last election cycle, and in May 2013 she announced she won’t run for another term. Yet she still believes she’d be a viable presidential contender in 2016.

Bachmann was asked by the right-leaning RealClearPolitics whether she thinks any Republican women will make a push to be their party’s presidential candidate, and in reply she threw her own name into the mix.

“The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running,” she said. “They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.” 

There’s also a chance I could run, but that’d require a Godly miracle like the one Michele thinks will ultimately force Presidential Obama to voluntarily repeal Obamacare. But we digress.

And even though her last presidential campaign was a scandal-plagued disaster, Bachmann told RealClearPolitics the experience would benefit her if she decides to make another go at it.

“Like with anything else, practice makes perfect,” she said. “And I think if a person has gone through the process — for instance, I had gone through 15 presidential debates — it’s easy to see a person’s improvement going through that.” 

But Bachmann, who in the interview called herself “one of the top — if not the top — fundraisers in the history of the United States Congress,” cautioned she hasn’t made a final decision one way or the other, adding that she’ll think more seriously about it after her last term in Congress wraps up.

I am hoping that she does decide to run. Why? Because she has no chance of winning and thereby driving the country into a ditch anyway, but who can resist the excitement of the possibility of more stories like the one about how the Associated Press threw in the towel on fact-checking her during the 2012 Republican presidential debates because so much of what she said was pure bullshit!

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Paul Ryan’s CPAC Sideshow

Every once in a while I take a sigh and think, “Thank God Romney and Ryan are not in the White House.” Yesterday was one of those days. Paul Ryan (R-LaLaLand) spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) yesterday and claimed that Democrats are out of touch. He went on to tell an obviously fictional tale of a poor kid who resents receiving free school lunch because it means his parents don’t love him.

Seriously…

The 8 Most Outlandish Moments of Bachmann’s Congressional Career

As we celebrate the big news that Michele Bachmann is not seeking reelection in 2014, here is a list of some of Michele Bachmann’s most controversial moments in congress:

1. Bachmann peddled a dangerous anti-vaccine conspiracy. Bachmann pushed the disproved theory that the vaccine for HPV — which prevents cervical cancer — can cause mental retardation. That misinformation has had a wide and lasting impact: Vaccination rates are still remarkably low, and experts blame figureheads like Bachmann who communicated misleading information to the public.

2. Bachmann called being gay ‘personal enslavement.’ On the issue of LGBT rights, Bachmann has a long record of either mocking gay and trans (like when she said she’d mistaken ex-gay therapy for anti-aging therapy, ‘pray away the grey‘). But when she isn’t mocking sexual orientation, she has treated it more like a mental disorder. Famously, Bachmann once said, “It’s a very sad life. It’s part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It’s anything but gay. […] Because if you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. Personal bondage, personal despair, and personal enslavement. And that’s why this is so dangerous.”

3. Bachmann considers climate change ‘a hoax.’ While experts warn that global climate change is already set to have a lasting impact on our environment, Bachmann calls climate change “all voodoo, nonsense, hokum, a hoax.” She also cast doubt on the entire field of climate science. At a town hall in her district, Bachmann informed constituents that climate science is not “real science” but “manufactured science.”

4. Bachmann led an Islamophobic witch hunt. Last year, Bachmann sought to “expose” members of the Muslim Brotherhood within the U.S. government. The totally unfounded witch hunt was essentially Bachmann’s personal indictment of one of then-Sec. of State Hillary Clinton’s aides, Huma Abedin, but it also served to fuel anti-Muslim bigotry. Bachmann’s fellow party members came out against her, with Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) slamming her on the Senate floor for her “unwarranted and unfounded attack.”

5. Bachmann claimed Obamacare would ‘literally’ kill people. In a screed against Obamacare on the House floor, Bachmann warned that the law “literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens.” She also questioned, in an interview with a fringe website that peddles conspiracy theories, whether Obamacare would allow the IRS to “deny or delay access to health care” for conservatives.

6. Bachmann told the American people that Iran had plans to nuke the U.S. During a presidential debate on the issue of national security, Bachmann falsely claimed that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had laid out plans to bomb the United States with a nuclear weapon.

7. Bachmann called on the American media to investigate ‘anti-American’ politicians. Bachmann’s first witch hunt of her career was against her own colleagues in Congress. In 2008, Bachmann told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews that she hoped the media would investigate Democratic members of Congress, including Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV). “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress,” she said, “and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?”

8. Bachmann wanted to abolish the minimum wage to help job growth. Back at the start of her Congressional career, Bachmann told the Minnesota state Senate, “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

List courtesy of Think Progress

Bye Bye Bachmann!

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Wow.  This is a headline to behold!  Bat $hit Crazy Bachmann spends millions on a television ad buy an unprecedented 18 months before the election and then calls it a day 2 weeks later. She said her prospects for being re-elected and the investigations into her former presidential campaign had no impact on her decision… Yeah. Right. Say whatever you want Michele, but I think most people outside your base are intelligent enough to read through that and see that you are scared.

Bachmann didn’t give a formal reason for retiring, except to say that she considered four terms in the U.S. House of Representatives enough. Even though there aren’t term limits for members of Congress, she said, presidents are only allowed to serve for eight years, and, “in my opinion, well, eight years is also long enough an individual to serve as representative for a specific congressional district.”

Though Bachmann is a favorite among conservatives and Tea Party groups, she underperformed with the electorate at large, relative to the solidly conservative 6th District. Mitt Romney won the district by more than 15 percent in 2012, while Bachmann won by just 1.3 percent. Last week, the Jim Graves campaign released an internal poll showing a statistically-tied race between the two.

Bachmann did not say what she’ll do after retiring from the House… Probably something on the Fox News payroll. Unfortunately, she didn’t rule out a return to politics in the future.